my eyes are filled with salt and a broad future.

after having a very enlightening phone call with a long lost friend last night, i now feel like my mind has been twisted slightly to the left to see what could possibly be ahead of me in life. being offered by some of my closest friends to start a life with next year is one of the sweetest smelling compliments i've had in a while. but the downside is i just dont know who the best candidate would be. maybe i could live by myself? but the whole concept of "alone" or becoming "lonely" is one of my greatest fears. and plus, i love to have someone to wake up beside. i have alot of decisions to make over these quickly pased coming months. time really does have a fast pase. or mayb we are all just becoming far to slow? all i know is that i'm naturally lazy when it comes to situations that involve minimal conclusions. although sometimes those are the small stepping stones we must take in turn to answer the big ones.
so last night whilst falling asleep to inspiring lyrics and repeating words of deep thought, i came to the conclusion that i am generally going to continue this happy life i live. as in go throughout everyday smiling to almost every situation. because in the end, you naturally live longer as a happy person rather than a sad or illed one. and i am always going to think about this god for saken pile of earth and water; about contemplating on an understanding of how everyone is so terrible to eachother in their actions. and the harsh consiquences of love that must follow after ugly relationships are over. they are all disturbing conversations i have with myself daily. though in the end, i can only just breath every 2.2 seconds, eat every 3 hours, sleep every 12 hours, love the people present in my life every moment they pass my mind and dry swallow any indication of hatred or jealously.
we are all human. whatever that means.
my eyes are filled with salt and a broad future full of more salt to be swallowed.