the frustration of not being alone.

Lately i have been determined to be seen as being by my self. no more extras or add-ons in my life at the moment is my goal. yes i love meeting new people and what not.. i think what i'm trying to say is that i'm not interested in having anything unbeleivably close in my life right now.
Like a spider weaving its web around my life and the thickness of my skin. i just want it away. i dont think i can explain what exactly it is.. but it certainly is something or someone i just want detatched for a while..

On a lighter note i am feeling much better and went to school on friday. saw all of the friends and what not. it was a fresh day.












Tonight i will hopefully be seeing an old friend. was suppose to happen last weekend but i fell very ill. i don't know how good the odds are though.. considering we are so bad at this.
Speaking of old peers; speaking to S alot lately. i am repeatedly told how much i am being missed but somehow i am not able to relate those feelings to a 100. i think that might be the cause of one of the reasons pushing me to want to be "alone." a partner in my life at the moment is something i don't think i could handle. another failed relationship in the guest book. and what am i doing, going back to the history palette?

This is possibly one of the most deepest personal refelections i've written down in a while.
Whoever reads this is not smart.
Goodafternoon.