i wish i could be handed something small, eith soluble or i could swallow. in it could contain some form of anesthetic which is able to dry up every tear that could ever form in the corners of my eye, able to stop every sharp heart beat which burns everytime i inhale a breath too deep, able to deafen my ears with some form of plug which could stop any form of foul tongue from demons, able to numb my mouth from any taste of regret or depression or love or hate or deception, able to stop the blood from running to my hands so they are cold and hard and when they touch someone they will run away and every object will seem false and i wont beleive its there.
- intoxicate me with something that can take away all of my senses so i am left with nothing but my mind to haunt me of what i cannot see, hear, feel, touch or taste. because in the end reality is the heavy metaphor i fear most. reality brings everything down to gravity. and gravity keeps it there to stay for good. so take away all of this from me so i can finally realise that i'm not getting out of hear and that i'm here to stay.
funny how i need a halusinative drug to make me realise the worst of it all.
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