HOLLOW ENOUGH

i am now officially a graduate of 2008. what am i suppose to do now?

unfortunately i'm still sick as the sickest day of my life. just hopeing and wishing i would recover for my early xmas present tomorrow - grace.

and then for one whole week i have her all to myself. well hypathetically due to it is only her and i staying in our luxurious apartment in broadbeach. who knows what friends as may make and bask in their company also.

to be continued...

AS SICK AS A

this last week and a half way too much has gone on in my life.

formal occasions, parties, lovers turning into monsters, plans for the future, more parties. so all of this worrying and dramatising i have finally become incredibly ill with some upper rispiritory infection. so lying in bed seems to be the only thing that sounds resonable to my life at the moment. eveything else i can only but squish my noise upto, without needing to sneez and spontaneously combust.

to start from the beginging. i had been planning the formal weekend for about 5 weeks now knowing exactly what i wanted. my vision turned out close enough.

If i'm to show anymore i might feel even more sick. mostly due to the night not going so well as i planned. but that's all that can be said.
the after party went nicely, spent most of it with beth, nicole, courtney, isaac, tash. they are the best to dance with. especially walsting with isaac to bloc party...

and as for this week that's been streaming by; i have gradutaion tonight. which will be interesting trying to sing our song as i have no tonsils.
awaiting grace's arrival on friday, as she will be spending a whole week with me. honestly the best gift i've been given in a while.
untill then i must attend to my nose!

i have got to start counting my money

As much as i job search this god-forsaken beach baring city i just can't seem to find something liable to go for.

but then again, maybe we should all just take the oportunities right infront of us when we have the chance?

most things require alot of experience, how are you suppose to start somwhere when you've never even had a start at a start somewhere in the very begining!

today's been the biggest drag.

up all night looking for job and coughing your lungs up after a terrible virus has take total domination over your body, doesn't make the whole financial situation any better.

this weekend, this one huge weekend i have ahead of me has cost my parents so much it's ridiculous. as much as i'd like to say "don't worry i'll pay you back" i just can't.

prostitutes make it look so easy. but then again, over 50% of the time the money they earn doesn't really go towards a good cause...

whatever my cause seems to be, usually due to more of the things i want rather than need, maybe i'm just the same as them - as in spending money on things that will just make you seem more addicted to the idea of having more. maybe i am a prostitute.. sinking to low levels to finance something i don't even neccessarily need.

but then again, when it comes down to it, who am i actually living for; the manufactured neccesities of life, or MY life of being alive?

well whichever it is, it costs money all the same.

p.s. :

here are some images from the series i published today for my final collection of emergence:

the black and white series:

Colour series is suppose to be around the same focus, just a different angle.
because when it comes down to it, we all see things in a differnet light.
especially life.

the end is coming to an end!

After this long journey of not only going to school every single day but living in it too! has started to really feel like it's payed off nicely.
i had my last art piece assessment FOREVER today. and multimedia is just around the corner. then the formal occasion is on the saturday evening... as nervous as i am, i'm so so excited. if anything it's that event that's going to really feel like it's all over red rover.

so this week has been chil so far. being at home now for dad's birthday is rather nice and relaxing. i will buy 'Eclypse' tomorrow and probably conquer it within 12 hours. which would be amazing!
i've also got to catch up with toby and see how he looks with his sprused up all-black suit.

my appiontment for this saturday are almost complete due to all of the meticulous planning i have put into them.
hair trial with colourado will hopefully go as planned for the day. oscar oscar was an option but it now put into the bin due to exspense and recent experiences - bad experiences.



I am screaming towards the heavens that all of my plans actually go to plan 100%
crazy crazy crazy i'm going!

twilight at starbucks

this evening was an evening i hope to repeat many times over.

it made me realise how much i love this special person, and how much he fits into my life at the moment, and hopefully many more small moments to come.
later in the afternoon i had a disagreement with my family and all i wanted to do was get away. and since it was pouring with rain and i had no car i wasn't sure what to do. also my main bestfriends are away in school, so i didnt have many options for people to talk to. but how could i have forgotten; the one i should've turned to first.

toby came to my rescue around 7.30. he took me to coffee in broadbeach at starbucks coffee house. we both had a mocha - venti size. and talked for 1hour and 30 minutes straight about current problems, situations, thoughts, recollections of memories, and further plans ahead of us. and it was then, at that very moment about my plans for next year, that i realised i very much wanted him to remain in that picture frame of us. he seemed distant once the topic was brought up though... i soon became distant also..

as much as i have discussing relationships with the actual person you're in a relationship with, i really wanted to discuss the matter and take it further into something more serious. because to be quite frank, he seems to becoming something very serious in my heart.

he didn't seem to want to talk about it much so we changed topic.

on the drive home all i could think about was how greatful i felt that i had someone to talk to about almost anything, and how much i was so sure on how i wanted this person to not leave my side. i wanted to say it out loud, louder than the rain hitting the windscreen, how much i wanted him to stay just that little bit longer in my heart.

if i keep telling myself how much i need him then hopefully he will start getting the same recognition. and usually we both do have the same mind frames.

i mean in the end, a soulmate; well who knows what that means anymore.

all i know is, i kind of hold something metaphoric to that right now.

well atleast for tonight.

the stitches to my heart are being sewed up with every beat of his heart for me.

Emma Cook A/W 08

EMMA COOK has the most amazing A/W collection for 08.
the clothes consist of a diverse sense of materials and wire and doc martins ECT!
some of the pieces reminded me of Fallon. but i can just see her disagreeing with me. but somehow i can just imagine it.



































it's such a cold day.
and speaking of high fashion; tomorrow night toby and i will be finding him a formal occasion suit. as fun as it sounds, i'm not sure how that occation for occasion will go down great...

let the rain come!

a certain wishlist for a certain someone

this evening was the evening i really realised how much i desperately want a job.

infact not want - need.

i am eager to work "almost" anywhere. as long as i have my own money in my own pocket to buy my own frocks and materials of sorts.

today i came across these amazing ksuni jeans that i am absolutely over lust for.

and then it broke my heart twice and i notcied this denim dress from general pants.

as inlove with these items as i am, i'm just not too sure on how my odds are going to be to get my hands onto them.

i think im going to do whatever it takes.

whatever. *accentuate the 'h' in whatever.

my weekend review

how beautifully went my weekend went by.
friday night, just as i planned, a halloween party awaited Natasha and i. dropped by jaala's house so her mum could drop us at run away bay. julian accompanied us. i just dressed in black since it is a "dark occasion." tash and jaala had some form of animal ears, and julian wore a teenage ninja turtle mask which was quite interesting. who would've thought he'd look good in green with a red headband across the forhead? the night went quickly but sweet. met alot of faces i hadn't seen in a while.. and as nervous as i was, it actually wasn't as painful as i thought. some distant faces i thought i'd forgotten had actually not forgotten about me, so all faces were smiling that evening. we ended up leaving quite early; around 11.30. i fell asleep at julian's feet with my head perched on some abnormally big bag. my leather jacket payed the price of keeping me warm. fashionable yet weather warm at the same time. once squeezing into a taxi, well onto bony boy's legs, we arrived at georgie's for the evening. she brought her boyfriend with her who was absolutely delightful. after a long nights sleep it was saturday morning.

saturday was mostly a blur. a confusion of life in general through around and around my mind like a cyclone full of witches and black cats. it was very unpleasant. so instead of my planned PLANS i decided to bask in natasha company and watch old repeats of sex and the city. then we decided to go to david jones and attempt to find a formal heel for me - this didnt work. then we went and watched 'The Duchess' and that really made my day. whilst crying though almost every scene with keira knightly pouting her lips untill she cried to of the pain, i thought to myself how i couldn't think of anywhere else i'd rather be. natasha was my savour of that dark afternoon. once dropping her back into southport i caught up with my long lost boyfriend with an addition of his twin brother with his girlfriend; noomi *smiles. i was suprised with one red rose from my prince charming. soon we were basking out the fron of noodle box with our own choice of recipe. then a suggestion of a movie was in thought. so i agreed and we saw 'Burn After Reading.' two movies in one day for me is a treat and an accomplishment i thought. and as soon as i knew it it was 11.30 and my three best weekend friends dropped me home. and that was that.

today i spent eight hours on my literature review due in tomorrow and coughed up enough flem to create the plague. so as much as i regret not going to my last day of leaning education for the rest of my life, i think saving everyone from a huge germ epidemic would be a wise choice.
so this evening i watched Indian Jones - the newesr version. and sighed after scene and after scene on how boring and predictable it was. goodness i miss sean connary in the previous ones. shia just doesn't finish it well for me.



toby bought my xmas present today, and i have absolutely no idea what it could be. and i'm in love with that feeling.