29 and feelin' fine!

as of late my weekends sinful activities have left me feeling dull and horrid about myself

so i've come up with a solution of being super healthy during the wake to make up for my healthy.

i generally am a considerably healthy person, but just eating well really makes you feel well!

and so that is my compromisation....

but i was a little naughty last night with my meds... secrets secrets.

but no way in the world could i regret my weekend of late.

mitchy's birthday of woodstock 69 was absolutely fucking fabulous.

here's a few images of the evening:

and what an evening that was.

way too many halusinatives...

but somehow i feel i am becoming more and more connected with myself and what the world around me means to me.

its a great high.

however, its killing my soflty.

so is this all really worth it?

do what you like, but please don't keep'a me waitin'......

as of late i have been feeling heaps lonely but know i must keep my spirits high to keep my mind from splitting into a million pieces.

but if i think about it this weekend is something to definaely get my hopes up;

considering my weekend starts on thursday; like most of my weekends do!

thursday seeing the lovely shaye get inked. afternoon sesh with fallon, mitch and jasper. then we all meet up with marcus for some exchange of party pants goodies. THEN dinner at zoe's which leads to..............

friday morning house hunting with zoe. most likely fall inlove with 2137109237 places. friday afternoon travel to brisbane to see grace. stay there over night for a friendly drink and catch up dinner.

saturday my little sisters birthday and mitchy's birthday!

i don't really know what to do with myself on that afternnoon. all i know is that i have to somehow be at my sisters and mitch's birthday at the one time..

it shall work out somehow!

either way i am going to be sugar child, and it will be absolutely amazing.

the rest of the weekend will just be recovering.....

i think i'm happy now.

f-f-f-fading away.....

last night i took a bullet to my chest. an old bullet i once took before in my past.

now that i amintouch with my reality i have no idea what to do now.
i do know the answers.. just not knowing how to get there..

i am stuck in a pink floyds dilema of dreams.......................................................................

take me home.

chasing the rabbit down the hole.......

crazy dreams have sent me into a dark abyse of not knowing what i should do with my current addiction to weekend medications.

it seems like the answers should be clear. but the thirst for more and more seems to erase the cold hard reality of my general healthy.

like alice in her wonderland i can see the rabbit across the landing beconing me to follow.. one side of me knows what the outcomes could be;

1. don't follow him and your sould will stay replenished, clean, free of pain and regret.

2. don't follow him and let someone else take your fall, they just happen to fall down the happy days well and can boast all about their trip to the mad hatter's tea party.

3. follow him through the purple forest of conversations with flowers and sing songs of fucking bliss. have a large long lunch with mad hatters and eat whatever they tell me to because i know i want to stay high high up in the sky.

4. follow follow follow down the black hole into rooms full of red walls and ceilings that can suck your mind away, twist it up into a ball of string, you're a puppet to the devils army.

all my options ive experienced many times before.. where to now?

i think i might just see where my fate takes me on friday night........

can you control fate?