what're you going to do?

after a huge weekend full of bad substance i've figured i really need to let go off this so called "escaping reality" phase i've been going throught since late last year....

not only for my physical healthy but my mental health also.

my widening mind is the best thing i have to offer, and when that's gone what else have i left?

i keep wishing my life away thinking i'm so much older than i already am.

should i be changing the people i hang out with? how can i make such an accusation like that when they are so tightly sewn into my heart.... it's like changing your friends is changing you. do i really want to change myself? and is it for the better?
i just don't know who i want to please anymore.

I have been so so content with the way things have gone this year..

but at the same time, have i been seeing the real light?

or just the "rose coloured glasses" one?

i've put so many questions out for my self to answer but i just dont know where to start on how to answer them......

cant even decide if they all could just be retorical.

so at the end of things all i gotta do is put my priorities first;

find a place with zoe, save some money and hense forth to even more hapyness.......

this entry was just to make my brain a bit less cluttered.

its' so fried.

hey rich girl!

i was just out in the greedy cold

it sucked me dry of all my warm feelings

my cigarette was my only saviour

i'm so wasted on you

come with me and we'll fly away on the king eagles back.
arcross the mountains, through the clouds, over the dew filled grass tips, under the ice falls.
hold my hand whilst we kiss the stars good morning and wave the sun goodnight.
all of this i want our eyes to see and cry over and then explose into a thousand pieces over the universe; just so we can see all of its greatness and beauty every waking second.
we would never have to sleep let alone blink anymore.. we have the milkyway to capture our dreams now and prject them into the worlds populations minds.... they will make dreams from our dreams. and with that the whole world will be full of colour and peace and feathers and feathers and feathers or fucking bliss.

Its your life and you can do what you want to...

the friday night that just passed was absolutley amazing.

Kell came down from the sunshine filled neverland to spend a weekend with me.

in the afternoon we went to Liam and Ears's house and indulged in a few drinks before the night was to begin...

we took the little kelly doll to elsewhere because that's the only place we could really afford to go to for the evening.. BUT thankfully it was enought o keep us all busy for about 7 hours to come................

soon after we arrived fallon and tash joined us for some midnight boogy.

some pictures from kelly's eyes:

we danced till our feet bled. well untill kelly's did anyway.

ears and liam were probably the easiest to relate to all night due to their eyes matching my eyes in colour, shape and size. aaahhhhh we are the best fucking tripod.

i ran into mickey and joseph in the early hours of the morning and had some nice litttle chats with them. we soon ended up going to mickey's to paint some pictures and listen to the kinks. nothing is better than being introduced to new people in your life you know will now make a massive impact from now on - and in a good way.

life is good right now.

pretty fucking good.

Players and their haters

two weekens in a row full of crack heads and smack heads has led me to beleive i think i need a little break from this "galmorous" lifestyle.

but then again, once you pop (and i mean everything you could imagine) you definately do not want to stop. and since i can remember ive always been a dreamer. and once finding this "way out" into the unknown feeligns of bliss, i just dont know if i want to leave it...

these are a few results as to why:

and that night was only the beginging.

doesnt look horrific, but thats because i only posted a few images.

THEN there was last weekend.

oooh what am i going to do?

cant even write a decent paragraph about positive things in my life anymore.

HA!