feed me some candy

Here is the deepest secret nobody knows. Here is the root of the root and the bud of the bud and the sky of the sky of a tree called life; which grows higher than soul can hope or mind can hide. And this is the wonder that's keeping the stars apart... I carry your heart, I carry it in my heart.

- tonight is so quiet i can hear my blood in my veins pump to every pulsing beat it leaves in my ear. if you dont stop drinking the pulsing will stop.
oh we can only dream!

shoes... OHMYGOD! shoes!

so i'm told i'm aloud an xmas "wish list." i couldn't think of anything amazing i'd like besides the Cannon eos 450D. however, it is over $1000 - i don't know how much of a chance i will get that. although it's always a nice thought!

muffin then mentions some shoes i could've gotten a while ago for a formal occasion. patent leather - nude colour. plantform almost 6 inches. absolutely amazing. then i think to myself if i could have any shoe in the world what would i choose...

all of these were spotted at Paris Fashion Week. either in or around the frocks events.

the last one's are closest to what i quite possibly might be getting tomorrow.

ahhhhh i really love shoes.. even the ones i cant have.

this video explains enough:

thirsty for more?

lately not much has been happening as i am the lathargic type. working minimal shifts at a health store where the boss is obnoxious and critsises everything you do, is really becoming havoc in my dairly routine. i'm thinking of merging into a cafe` at chevron called "tigerlilly." hopefully that will do something for me. as i am still broke regardless of being pair like 10 dollars an hour...
so i think i can say i'm very much "thirsty" for something more to happen in my life. right now. as much as i want to go out and do stuff with my friends, they are finally the ones who are not keen! i don't seem to understand that one.. so my social life is very minimal. however the amount of babysitting i've been doing has made a little progress of sibling friendship rather than rivalry.

so xmas is just around the bend and every present has been bought for - even ones for myself. baz has agreed to by me a woodford ticket for new years night which will be absolutely amaazing being there along with the people i care most about. and the people who are the best at partying!

so for now i will just continue planing january.
january; the month which determines if everything is going to go as planned. as in what is planned for it now, and if its plans well then hopefully any future plans will go as planned!

thirsty.

the sky is lighting my day - lighting a flame too bright to handle

the heat in this country is begining to become unbearable. as much as i frolick in the pool with the two younger ones it just doesn't seem to cut it. especially as the water seems to be over boiling itself from the suns rays.

louis and i have even tried watching spongebob to ensure the image of "being under water" with all of the fish - no such luck in the halusinative state we seem to be in now after trying that stunt.

other than complaining of the heat i do have something to look foward to - this evening with muffin and hopefully georgia at the arts center to see this art house film "I'v loved you so long"

Léa (Elsa Zylberstein) and Juliette (Kristin Scott Thomas) are sisters. The film begins with Léa, the younger sister by fifteen years, picking Juliette up at the airport. We soon realize that the two sisters are almost complete strangers to each other. Juliette has just been released from prison after serving a long sentence. Léa was still a teenager when Juliette, a doctor, was sent off to prison. Léa contacted Juliette when she was released and suggested that Juliette come to live with her. Juliette had no particular desire to see her sister again.

there's plenty more to the story but i wouldn't be able to tell too much as i haven't even seen it yet! but i'm sure it will be an eye opener of some sorts. i usually feel that way whenever i see those kind of films at the gallery.

so let's hope i have a melt free evening - meaning not only temperature wise but activity wise also.

what's on the menu?

these last few days haven't been so exhilarating as i've literally been melting into my bed sheets. the only thing that's been grabbing my attention seems to be articles based on the internet consisting of either apparel photography -vice magazine website, fashion attire music blogs, watching movie trailers from cannes film festival, and many more ridiculously boring trends. but i suppose i discovered a few things that i added my wishlist if i actually had money to afford or the travel arangments to get to the actual store and remenis with them in real life:

The latest 09 collection of Cassette Society it absolutely amazing. they've brought in pieces which are plain yet have interesting cut, accessories, random stitches of monocomatic colours. even the model they've chosen, zipora seven, brings an interesting twist to the line with her body shapes performed and how the outfits are put together upon her.

And as great as that was i was also extremely enriched and enspired by Maurie and Eve Summer collection. the model is also amazing and they clothe her perfectly in all of the frocks. both of these collections are simular in that they are placed around the same season intrudocuing small light dresses, monocomatic colours with just tiny splashes of colour; usually in the accessories.















other than that not much at all has been on my agenda other than planning my fast coming future.
so as of now i'm working, saving money, have very little social life till new years eve - which involves; hooefully woodford/ sunshine coast. then two weeks after that - Prue's birthday and literally only 60 hours later - Big Day Out.

things are looking up at the moment. all i really have to do is continue eating healthy, sleep earlier, excersize more, and swallow as much tea as possible! i'm content. for now.

a recap of the last TEN days

so a quick yet slightly detailed recap of what i was doing for ten days straight in a foreign yet familiar coastal town of mine.

it took me only 3 or four days after schoolies to realise i just couldn't sit around me room and remeniss about what the hell i could be doing these next passing minutes of boredom and "soberness."

i headed off abd up to the coast where grace awaited me. we stayed with her sister lauren in her little house which she shared with four other people - luckily they were all away except one, so we had much space to ourselves.

friday night we endeavoured into a party with some old "romantic" friends from the schoolies experience - the next door neighbours so to speak. the party went down quite well. for me anyway as grace had a little mishap. but who cares, we're only human. i danced with the birthday boy almost all evening - best best moment was when 'Police - Roxanne' came on. and almost everyone knew the words! so by the end of the night i had some strange mother feeding my colslaw or some sorts and then passing out in the back of a car between two lovely boy friends of mine. nothing went down. nothing.

saturday night really consisted of grace and i trying to figure out what we could do next that would seem remotely adrenalin rushed. we eneded up calling Tobey from yaroombah and headed down to coolum for some "fine wine" in the "NEST" as they called it... after a lot of glasses with the input of bendy straws from mcdonalds, we jumped into a bus and continued our journey to marcoola where isaac and benny lived + their lady friends and what not where there. i wasn't quite sure what to do with myself when i arrived. grace was already in her little world by then so i was quite a lone soldier. but once we'd popped some enhancers into our brains we were all excited to be around eachother and eager to listen to almost every single breath of word each of us had to spit out. once we were all bestfriends we shared countless amounts of chewing gum and our views on supre` as a clothing brand or the leading spokes label for prostitutes. saturday evening turned into

sunday morning fairly quickly where tobey and i did and all nighter leading into "high nigga pie" for a puff as breakfast. the of us left grace to nap on the matress and everyone enjoy the smokey atmoesphere, and headed off to yaroomba for a cosey sleep in bed. 5 hours later we awoke and jumped off and drived off to pick up grace and zach. the rest of the day ended with grace and i wondering around the plaza with not a clue in the world what we were doing and at far too much popcorn and a very badly made sandwitch from healthy habits.

for the rest of the days following that grace and i really just endured in a humungous chil sesh shared with eachother. we watched almost the entire second season of gossip girl, many many youtube videos on advertisement for drugs, alchocol, and very funny condom adverts.

thursday night was a bit of a highlight as we went to the premier of 'Twilight.' as we've all read the entire series these days i'd have to say it was nicely done. but could've been more dramatic and less corny. yes it was funny. but i didnt like it being too funny. it's suppose to be a serious love story! but other than that i wouldn't have chosen anyone different to go with. i mean who else would come up with the idea to bring in sakata biscuits and spinach and feta. only grace.

untill friday i thought it would be my last night. so Breeza was going a major housep party in coolum. we ventured there but first visited the markets with tobey. we gave a little boy who was busking with a violin some chocolate money. only because we didnt have our own money because we are broke. but then again, how did we afford the chocolate money in the first place?! the party turned out to be one of the best nights i'd had all week. grace decided she wouldn't drink too much so i just let loose. and loose i got. by not going into too much detail i've been told i don't neccessarily do stupid things but i say alot of stupid things. my mouth ended getting me thrown into the swimming pool fully clothed.

i was then pushed into wearing this dry dress instead of my wet ones - this dress made me look like i was alice in wonderland. i was surely in wonderland now. that evening turned into an all nighter also.

and that day we slept for a couple of hours again. tobey's mum made us awaken to some beautifully made mango and banana smootheys. we were then taken home to rejuvinate for a couple of hours, drink some water, wash away the memories from the night before and then we were off again, back to coolum for some more fun. that night was a bit more chil, mostly due to the number of people and possibly the big bucket of goon we created and then named "punch" as we added some exotic juices. i decided not to take the death wish and share some beer with tobey... which was probably a bad idea as it got me quite drunk and dosile. i played the game "i seee the moon in the spoon." - i lost every time. probably because i didnt know what i was doing. grace ended up dragging me home around 2 o'clock. without going into detail how we got home we finally did withouth getting raped or eaten by the monster under the bridge.

and about 4hours and thirty minutes later i was getting picked up to the train station. it took 4 hours for me to get home. and once i did i basked into some noddle box and passed out on the couch at around 6.30. awoke 13 hours later and recouperated.

which leads to where i am now. melting in the hidious heat of australia. this place is really a dessert. or a tropical island. or whatever. i guess all i really have on agenda now is alot of money saving, future art planning, practice my cooking skills for grace, and eat healthy!

here listen to tom meiko:

such a toxic two weeks

so i had the "schoolies experience" as exspected.. alot happened so i thought it would. the exsessive alcohol, drugs, social meetings. all went down swimmingly throughout the atmosphere of each evening. i don't think there was one evening where i wasn't involved in something illegal. but then again - who wasn't.

grace was lovely to hang out with. beside her high and low swings between moods i somehow found a way to juggle her sober and under the influence of unmentionables.

i was able to catch up with friend i hadn't seen in so so long. prue and kelly were probably one of the best highlights. with their cute little smiles and cute cut little dresses how could you not miss that! along with them came new friends to meet and hopefully long lasting ones also.

speaking of new friends; we made some amazing foolful friends with the people right next door to us in our hotel! they were from the sunshine coast (most second best visited place i venture to in australia). 5 boys who were just out there to have a good time as much as grace and i did. we shared night romances with them and far too much "fine wine."

ofcourse we had our encounters with the people on the streets;
isaac and i had our lovely aquanences along the pathway to home. some lovely folks offered us to their humble abodes - which weren't so humble once we arrived. seemed more like a brothel of some sorts...

every night was a possible electric dream full of streaming flashes of colour detailed with a million faces all young and happy. ears as large as elephants listening to the swirling beats within the atmosphere. rain slipping and sliding off of our faces every 5 seconds. the fresh adrenalin makes us want more. and more. and more, untill we can take none till we hit the ground and awaken to another day full of regret and forgotten dreams from the night before. so we start all over that evening. hopeing to not repeat but all the same we do. again and again.

as soon as we knew it the "schoolies experience" was over. i spent over $300 dollars spending money and $90 credit on my phone. as lovely as every night was spreading my wings along the esplanade with no worries but a cop asking me how old i was.. but when it came down to it i knew i really didn't give a damn in the end.

HOLLOW ENOUGH

i am now officially a graduate of 2008. what am i suppose to do now?

unfortunately i'm still sick as the sickest day of my life. just hopeing and wishing i would recover for my early xmas present tomorrow - grace.

and then for one whole week i have her all to myself. well hypathetically due to it is only her and i staying in our luxurious apartment in broadbeach. who knows what friends as may make and bask in their company also.

to be continued...

AS SICK AS A

this last week and a half way too much has gone on in my life.

formal occasions, parties, lovers turning into monsters, plans for the future, more parties. so all of this worrying and dramatising i have finally become incredibly ill with some upper rispiritory infection. so lying in bed seems to be the only thing that sounds resonable to my life at the moment. eveything else i can only but squish my noise upto, without needing to sneez and spontaneously combust.

to start from the beginging. i had been planning the formal weekend for about 5 weeks now knowing exactly what i wanted. my vision turned out close enough.

If i'm to show anymore i might feel even more sick. mostly due to the night not going so well as i planned. but that's all that can be said.
the after party went nicely, spent most of it with beth, nicole, courtney, isaac, tash. they are the best to dance with. especially walsting with isaac to bloc party...

and as for this week that's been streaming by; i have gradutaion tonight. which will be interesting trying to sing our song as i have no tonsils.
awaiting grace's arrival on friday, as she will be spending a whole week with me. honestly the best gift i've been given in a while.
untill then i must attend to my nose!

i have got to start counting my money

As much as i job search this god-forsaken beach baring city i just can't seem to find something liable to go for.

but then again, maybe we should all just take the oportunities right infront of us when we have the chance?

most things require alot of experience, how are you suppose to start somwhere when you've never even had a start at a start somewhere in the very begining!

today's been the biggest drag.

up all night looking for job and coughing your lungs up after a terrible virus has take total domination over your body, doesn't make the whole financial situation any better.

this weekend, this one huge weekend i have ahead of me has cost my parents so much it's ridiculous. as much as i'd like to say "don't worry i'll pay you back" i just can't.

prostitutes make it look so easy. but then again, over 50% of the time the money they earn doesn't really go towards a good cause...

whatever my cause seems to be, usually due to more of the things i want rather than need, maybe i'm just the same as them - as in spending money on things that will just make you seem more addicted to the idea of having more. maybe i am a prostitute.. sinking to low levels to finance something i don't even neccessarily need.

but then again, when it comes down to it, who am i actually living for; the manufactured neccesities of life, or MY life of being alive?

well whichever it is, it costs money all the same.

p.s. :

here are some images from the series i published today for my final collection of emergence:

the black and white series:

Colour series is suppose to be around the same focus, just a different angle.
because when it comes down to it, we all see things in a differnet light.
especially life.