not a sense

i feel like i don't have much control over my life anymore.. now that i've been at boarding school everything's been set to a schedual. all the time. literally. you'd think living on the Gold Coast would be something to look forward to. a huge change from where you used to live. more freedom? well it has come to my suprise that it's nothing like that. i seriously think it's only good to hang out here if you're over 18. it's so over-rated here it only makes sense that you're a legal age to actually have fun here. my friends think i'm lucky and all that and don't beleive it can be horrible here. i'm sick of this schedualed life i have. i mean fair enough after school we have study time and all that but now having my weekends being taken over, that's just too far for me. coming to a new school that makes you strip your face of make-up and hair of nots is very hard for me. i'm not saying i'm vain in some respects i'm just not used to it.. not used to not exagerating my features... not bringing out my confidence in me. they say school is all uniform. uni meaning everyone's the same. well fine with the uniform, that's just clothing but not my physical features. i just feel stripped of all i want. the one thing i felt i used to be able to control was make-up.. now i can't even do that anymore. my clothes are monitored by them both in and outside school. as well as what i eat, what i do in my spare time, what i do with my life and family! it's all controlled by them. i feel that i must be wasting my life by doing what they want with me life, because it's not their life it's mine.
I wish i was young again. back when nothing else mattered but cartoons in the morning before school and wearing my favourite sailormoon shoes to emily's house.