smoke or choke?

today at school some friends of mine were cought with a left over cigarette but on the floor of their room by the cleaner. pretty much think they could get kicked out or something if they were able to find their life time supply of packets over packets of cigarettes and liters in their hand bags and sneaky spots. we made plans this afternoon to make sure they don't find them if they do plan to do some 'FBI' search of their room after study. i don't think they'll get kicked out if they dont find the rest but if they do.. i don't see how you could get into so much trouble. i mean who doesn't smoke now anyway? we all know it's 'bad' but it's become to be a neccesity into everyday life for most people. i think we're still in the same place we started 1883 when cigarettes were the biggest rage and everyone did it. well people still do. they're still promoted in movies, newpaprers, tv, parents? the tabaco insutry is everywhere and will remain everywhere till "the day we die!"
it all fascinates me how we know what we're doing is so bad for our body but are still able to do it? i know i am always going to say when put in that position it "We only live once." well yeah we do, but i know i want to live long-ish. whatever it comes to i hope to never get addicted. i see the cigarette as an accesory and worst comes to worst yor bestfriend.
i hope my two bestfriends wont have to take the crime for this silly role of paper and grass.

not a sense

i feel like i don't have much control over my life anymore.. now that i've been at boarding school everything's been set to a schedual. all the time. literally. you'd think living on the Gold Coast would be something to look forward to. a huge change from where you used to live. more freedom? well it has come to my suprise that it's nothing like that. i seriously think it's only good to hang out here if you're over 18. it's so over-rated here it only makes sense that you're a legal age to actually have fun here. my friends think i'm lucky and all that and don't beleive it can be horrible here. i'm sick of this schedualed life i have. i mean fair enough after school we have study time and all that but now having my weekends being taken over, that's just too far for me. coming to a new school that makes you strip your face of make-up and hair of nots is very hard for me. i'm not saying i'm vain in some respects i'm just not used to it.. not used to not exagerating my features... not bringing out my confidence in me. they say school is all uniform. uni meaning everyone's the same. well fine with the uniform, that's just clothing but not my physical features. i just feel stripped of all i want. the one thing i felt i used to be able to control was make-up.. now i can't even do that anymore. my clothes are monitored by them both in and outside school. as well as what i eat, what i do in my spare time, what i do with my life and family! it's all controlled by them. i feel that i must be wasting my life by doing what they want with me life, because it's not their life it's mine.
I wish i was young again. back when nothing else mattered but cartoons in the morning before school and wearing my favourite sailormoon shoes to emily's house.

a time

So i was born and half raised in England, Hammersmith, West London. i would have to say they were the best memories. living with my mother(sonia), dad(baz), older brother(james),younger sister(lorelei), and younger brother(louis) was suprisingly good. a sense of rush was nothing knew to us. i miss it. mum was teaching performing arts and working for the most booming fashion photographers of london as a make-up artist. dad was a ski instructor in the french alps and across whistler in the US and Canada, also running fitness pools in Brighton. they were both on tight scheduals but it al worked out.

1999 my littlest brother was born(louis). it was also the year that dad came up with the idea of moving to Australia forever. he called it "the island down under." it was all quite new to us but as we didn't quite know where Australia was (only knew of in history class where the convict went and captain cook made discoveries of a different race) but we were all excited the same.

it was exciting here..